


Send In The Clowns

by Acherona, trulywicked



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe- Hales Live, Assumptions, Derek Has Issues, Derek has a Nut Allergy, Derek is a Failwolf, Fluff and Crack, Humor, M/M, Magical Stiles Stilinski, Past Mind Control, Past Sexual Abuse, Scott McCall & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Stiles is paranoid, past trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-30 10:49:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12107100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acherona/pseuds/Acherona, https://archiveofourown.org/users/trulywicked/pseuds/trulywicked
Summary: You know what they say about assuming things don't you?That hasn't really sunk in to Stiles' brain so when his neighbor acts a little sketchy he leaps to the conclusion that said neighbor is a vampire. Testing his theory by leaving peanut butter cookies for his neighbor was a good idea.Except hs neighbor turns out to be allergic to nuts and throws them away and now Stiles is convinced he's got a bloodsucking vampire next door.Meanwhile Derek Hale is growing more convinced that he's moved in next to a serial killing hunter at worst, a creep at best.





	1. Neighborhood Relations

Sometimes Scott wondered how Stiles had survived to become an adult mage without someone killing him for his assumptions. “Stiles just because you haven’t seen him during the day doesn’t mean he’s a vampire. Some people are night owls _like yourself_.”

“Not like this Scotty boy.” Stiles stood in the window, peering through the curtains as yet another food truck came to drop of food at the dark house. “I live as you should at night, online, this weirdo builds things. All this food and no garlic and he works at night building his own custom made coffin or burying his victims inside the walls. Vampire bro, vampire.” He drew out the last word. “I have a vibe.”

Scott groaned because the last time Stiles had a vibe they’d wound up chasing a cactus cat all over the Arizona desert because Stiles had thought it was an ifrit in disguise. It had actually been the ifrit’s pet but his point still stood. “Stiles some people don’t like the way garlic smells or tastes and he’s probably renovating. You said his truck isn’t there during the day so he’s probably at work. Like a normal person.”

“Are you calling me abnormal Scotty?” Stiles’ voice had taken on a dangerous edge. “And he parks the truck in the garage during the day, to lure his prey in.” Stiles shifted the curtain to the side to see if he could see into the neighbor's house better, he couldn’t. “I am on to him and his curtains are always drawn and no plants in the windows, his undead breath probably kills them all.” He chewed on his thumbnail. “I’m gonna bake him chocolate peanut butter cookies, see if I can get a closer look.”

“Fine. You do that. Just...Stiles don’t blow this all out of proportion okay?”

“Would I ever do that? And no, you don’t have to answer. I’ll leave you to get your beauty sleep but when bloodless husks of corpses begin showing up, I reserve the right to tell you I told you so.” Stiles was already planning ahead.

“Fine if a bloodless corpse appears you can say you told me so.” Scott doubted any such thing would appear. “Talk to you tomorrow bro. Save me some cookies.”

“We’ll see, I might give all the spare cookies to Liam, he appreciates my brilliance. Sleep tight bro.” Stiles ended the call and went back to staring at the dark windows of the other house. Who built things with the curtains closed, people with things to hide, that’s who.

\-----------------------------------------------

Scott bit into a cookie and watched Stiles flail and babble about his new neighbor. Again.

“They were in the trash Scott, my cookies, _those_ cookies were in the trash?” Stiles pointed a long bony finger at the cookie in Scott’s hand. “Who throws away my cookies Scott, you tell me?” 

“Someone who doesn’t like sweets maybe? Or chocolate? Or peanut butter? Your cookies are ambrosia but some people don’t like cookies period. Or have allergies. Maybe you should ask what kind of cookies he’d prefer?” Scott suggested. “You know actually meet him face to face rather than leaving stuff at his door.”

“I’ve tried, he apparently sleeps during the day like the bat he is and I am not knocking at night when he is doing his murder constructions.” Stiles hissed and bit into a cookie of his own, it was perfectly fine, delicious even. “I won’t give up though, I will expose him. The casserole I’m making now will be delivered in Babcia’s old put with the real silver handles.”

“You sure you wanna risk that? I mean what if someone in the neighborhood steals it?” Scott frowned in concern. 

“Please, the thing is butt ugly, the handles are shaped like cows Scott. Mooing cows, besides, who would steal from me? Everyone but the vampire knows me and knows Dad.” Stiles was not worried about the pot. 

“Stiles I’m begging you, just knock on his door when you know he’s home, ask him about himself or at least what he likes to eat. Look I’ll even come with you. I’ll bring Liam, you’ll have backup in case he does try to kill you.”

“No.” Stiles gave Scott a look of utter stubbornness. “When I do choose to confront him, I won’t need backup, I just need to know that you trust me.” 

“Of course I trust you Stiles but this is already getting out of hand. It’d be so much easier to just have a face to face with this guy.” He saw the stubborn look on Stiles’ face and sighed, “Alright but don’t say I didn’t suggest this route when yours winds up with you moaning embarrassed into your pillow on the phone with me. Remember when you thought the new deli owner was a demon?”

“It was a fair assumption to make, don’t go there.” Stiles pouted. “He was faery and his nails were green, not by varnish, with things growing on them. He had no business being a deli owner.” Stiles sniffed. “And do you really want to go that road Scotty?” Stiles had stories of Scott too, plenty of them and he remembered them in multicolored detail.

“I’m just reminding you that when you go overboard you’re usually left red in the face buddy. And right now? The direction you’re heading? Your new neighbor might call the cops about a stalker and the last time that happened Jordan actually arrested you just for giggles. You’re probably already scaring whoever this guy is.”

“See who will peptalk you when you panic over Allison next time.” Stiles ripped away the tiny piece of cookie Scott had left. “And your cookie privileges are revoked, you are being a bad friend here.” Stiles was upset enough that blue sparks shot from his fingertips. 

Scott was too used to the flashes of magic sparks to so much as flinch. “Actually trying to talk you down off the ledge is being a good friend but okay. I’ll let you make the mistake and I will be a good friend when you find out that your neighbor is not actually a vampire and I won’t say I told you so.” He really wouldn’t have to. Stiles would know he was thinking it.

\--------------------------------------------------

Derek paced the stripped floor of his kitchen, his phone to his ear as he spoke to his sister, “He left another thing on the stoop today and I smell almonds from it. I think I live next door to a serial killer with a really weird way of killing people."

Laura chuckled at her baby brother, it was a long time since she had heard him this worked up about something. “He’s probably just trying to be nice, welcoming you to the neighborhood. Have you tried talking to him?” 

“No. You don't introduce yourself to serial killers Laur. I'm serious here.” Derek picked up a wood shaving to flick it into a waste bin. “He's always watching my place and everything he leaves either has nuts or garlic or both in it. He just leaves them usually on very ugly silver gilded dishes. He never knocks when I'm home and it's not like anyone could miss the Beast parked in my driveway.

He checked out the crack in the wall that he needed to fix soon and saw his neighbor’s blinds being peeked through in the direction of his windows. “Which reminds me, I need to arrange for that thing to be replaced. The former owner made it out of pavers. Pavers! It's more crooked and bumpy than a dirt road that's never been graded.”

“Focus baby bear, one crisis at a time here.” Laura was still amused. “First deal with the chef serial killer and then you can worry about your driveway. You don’t like garlic but your neighbor doesn’t know that and you’re allergic to nuts which is hilarious on its own, a werewolf with nut allergy. All you have is circumstance. I repeat, try talking to him.” Laura moved so she could curl up in her overstuffed chair, a bowl of cheese doodles within easy reach. 

“I can multitask,” he muttered. “Actually I think next time I have a day off I'm going to get the crew over here to do the drive and at the same time I can have Erica see what she can work out of this guy.”

Laura paused with a bright orange cheese doodle hanging between her lips. “You’re really worried, you wouldn’t bring Erica in if you weren’t.” Erica was scary on the best of days to anyone outside the pack and she had a gift of halfway seduce, halfway terrify the answers she wanted out of anyone. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

“I'm not sure. I mean I don't smell any wolfsbane around his place but at the same time I can't catch _any_ sound or scent from inside and you know what that means.” Few things could block were senses but mountain ash was one of those things.

“Mountain ash.” Laura’s voice was just above a whisper, with mountain ash present this was more serious than a ditsy neighbor. “Silver, mountain ash and knowledge of your nut allergy. Derek you need to tell Mom.” If there was a clear and present threat close by, especially one targeting her son, the alpha of the territory needed to know.

He winced. He loved his mother, no he adored her and the very ground she walked on, but Talia Hale would come down like the hammer of god if she thought her baby boy was in danger. “I'd rather reserve Mom for a confirmed threat. You know how she is and if my neighbor really is just a normal weirdo that will be a disaster.”

“Believe me, I know how she is, I have lived with her for longer than you’ve been alive.” Laura shifted her voice in a mimic of their mother’s. “See Derek, this is why you shouldn’t have moved out. The point of this sprawling monster of a mansion is so we will all have room and privacy. Packs are supposed to live together and I don’t want my darling baby boy out there where boys and girls will try to steal him away from me.” Laura sobered though. “If your neighbor is a hunter, she will send Peter, we both know that.” 

“I know. Which is why I would rather be certain before telling her. She'll probably send Peter anyway but if Erica gets no vibe then Peter won't be as bad as he can be. He'll be relaxed and he's bad enough when he's relaxed you know that.”

“Peter is always bad, there is a reason he is Mom’s first enforcer.” Laura muttered and dove into her cleavage to get at the cheese doodle that had escaped. “Don’t do anything stupid okay? Keep your eyes and senses open but _call me_ before you have one of your brilliant ideas, like trying to tear his throat out.” 

"I will. Promise. I just hope he doesn't start leaving wolfsbane pies on my porch in the interim. I'll talk to you soon and will expect a full report on how wooing that kitsune is going." Derek got the biggest kick out of his sister’s attempts at catching this mystery kitsune’s attention. Laura was always going on about how tiny and adorable she was.

“As long as Mom doesn’t get wind of it and interfere with your usual brand of Momming things will go brilliantly.” Laura’s tone turned softer when she thought about her sweet little fox. 

“I’ll let you go and get back to my sanding here for another hour before I go down for the night. Love you Laurie.”

“Love you too Derling.” Laura made loud smooching noises into the phone before hanging up.

Derek chuckled at his sister’s antics and tucked his phone away before getting back to work and figuring in his head when the next day he didn’t have any jobs planned was.


	2. Va-Va-Va-Vamp

Erica lamented the fact that she couldn’t truly vamp out while on a job but she managed to make the sweaty construction worker look wook for her when necessary. She knocked on the door of the house next to Derek’s and stood with a hip angled just right.

Stiles was used to people and beings knocking on his door at all hours of the day but he was still careful, maintaining a ward even as he opened the door. “Yes?” 

“Hi,” she made sure to purr it out and give him her best sultry smile, “I’m part of the crew working on the drive next door,” she gestured to where Boyd and Isaac were tossing pavers into the long dumpster. “We had to shut the water off over there to prevent any accidents and I was wondering if you’d be alright with us borrowing your hose or something if we get thirsty?”

“Drive next door?” Stiles narrowed his eyes and peered over at the vampire nest. “Yeah sure, you can come inside if you’re thirsty, no need for the hose.” He wasn’t religious but perhaps there was a way to spell water to become holy.

“Oh God thanks,” she pinched her shirt in two fingers and flapped it a bit in a parody of fanning herself, “Breaking up the pavers and grading the ground before we pour new cement is really _hot_ work.”

Stiles wasn’t an idiot, he could tell when people were flirting with him, especially when they were as obvious as this lady. “Uh huh, better cool down in the shade which there is a lot of, since it is overcast today. And would you say that you’re good at your job, smoothing over bumps and holes? Hiding what could be inside them?”

Erica fluttered her lashes, “Pretty boy why would I hide when I have so much delicious to show off?”

“I hope your job isn’t flaunting yourself, though if it is, good on you, no judgment here. I was talking about the paving.” Stiles had to smile but he wondered what she was after really. “So, I have to get back to work but just holler if you you need water.”

She pouted a little because here she was throwing out her best and he was barely blinking. “I’m very good at construction of all kinds. I enjoy building things up. But I’ll scream up for you when I need cool refreshment.”

“You do that.” Stiles deadpanned back and scratched at his temple with herb stained fingertips. “Best of luck with the paving.”

“Thanks Golden Eyes,” she gave him a wink then headed over and around back to where Derek was working on the other side so he’d have a drive around driveway. “He’s either gay or on the ace spectrum. Not one look at my boobs and I plumped the girls up.” She picked up a shovel.

“Beyond that anything about him?” Derek asked.

“Nuthin and he had some stuff on his fingers that I should have been able to smell but nada. He’s pretty but yeah, I get why you’ve got the bad tinglies.”

“We could kill him.” Isaac suggested. “I mean we’re already paving, wouldn’t take much work to hide one scrawny body.” He looked at the stranger’s house with grumpy suspicion. The house looked nondescript and that was a warning bell in its own. Typical hunter behavior. 

“Except there’s no proof of malicious intent and if he’s got a clan we’d get in trouble,” Erica reminded Isaac. “I’d rather avoid people shooting at me. Plus broad daylight.”

“At least I try to solve the problems thrown at us.” Isaac sniffed but went back to work with one more glare over at the neighbor's house.

“Murder is not a solution to everything.” Derek rolled his eyes at the younger man. “In fact it’s not a solution at all. You spend too much time with Peter.”

“He has some points.” Isaac called over his shoulder.

“Something is definitely weird though, if Erica couldn’t get anything out of him or from him then it is weird.” Boyd was calm as usual. “I don’t like to say it but you should bring this to Talia’s attention.”

“Maybe but I’d rather hold off on that until I absolutely _have_ to.” Derek could live next to a hunter if said hunter wasn’t trying to kill him. Maybe the nuts and silver were just coincidence. Maybe.

\------------------------------------------------------

John Stilinski hid his amusement as he listened to Melissa talk about Scott’s concerns over Stiles and his paranoia. He knew his kid was starting to reach ridiculous levels. Just like he knew it wouldn’t sink in as a lesson when he found out that his neighbor wasn’t a vampire. John just planned to sit back and enjoy the ride.

“Scott is worried it is reaching Lydia levels.” Melissa clucked her tongue. “The five year plan Lydia levels, flatscreen tv birthday present levels.” Melissa knew that as much as her son might worry, if Stiles came up with some truly harebrained plan and asked Scott for help, Scott would be there right next to Stiles. He might bitch the entire time but he would be there.

“Oh past that I think,” John bit into his turkey on rye, “Stiles liberated some of the night watch gear from the station yesterday.”

“ _Liberated_ huh?” Melissa’s lips twitched. “Oh that boy.” She shook her head. “All grown up and so powerful and he still gets these ideas into his head.”

“He’ll be getting these ideas into his head when he’s eighty Melissa. You know he has no medium setting.” John snickered. “I just can’t wait for Tally to realize what’s up and for her to give us a full breakdown of the insanity from her son’s end.”

“It’s going to be an interesting show to watch, that is for sure.” Melissa nodded. “Vampire really, like that would be so bad even if he was a vampire. Stiles plays chess with an ogre twice a month.” She smiled and loaded John’s plate with eggplant lasagna. 

“It’s the fact that he hasn’t seen Derek yet that’s got his paranoia thrumming more than anything. Stiles can’t stand a mystery, you know that.” He sighed at the lasagna. “I miss red meat in lasagna. Not that you don’t do vegetarian lasagna amazingly Melissa but there’s no replacing red meat.”

“I would feel more sorry for you if I didn’t know about you and Stiles’ bison and venison steak nights. Having you around and healthy is more important than your carnivorous desires.” She filled her own plate and tucked in, blowing on her forkful so she wouldn’t burn her mouth. “I am a nurse, I am with Stiles all the way when it comes to your diet, I know your cholesterol levels.”

“It’s one night a month,” he protested but forked up a bite of his own. He wondered what would happen next with his son and Derek Hale as he chewed. It was bound to be ridiculous.

\------------------------------------------------------

Derek woke up hungry in the middle of the night, far later than he was usually up, and headed to his kitchen to open the mini fridge he was keeping there until the renovation of the kitchen was finished. As he reached out for the handle, he realized that for the first time he could hear something from next door.

He peeked out of the crack he hadn’t fixed yet and saw a figure in shadows pacing the back porch. Sharpening his ears he picked up something about the greenhouse in the backyard.

“It’s a amazing.” Stiles bubbled and just about resisted the urge to raise his fist in the air in glee. “I never thought they would grow so much so fast but the aconite is really coming in. If it continues like this I will be able to harvest my first blooms soon, can you imagine?” Stiles thought about everything he would be able to do with the white wolfsbane, how it would be of help. 

Derek swore he stopped breathing. Aconite. His neighbor was growing wolfsbane. And now he couldn’t put off calling his mother any more. He ran back upstairs for his phone and dialed. “Mom I think I have a hunter for a neighbor.”

\--------------------------------------------------------

Peter Hale studied the neat two story home next to the house his nephew had bought and straightened the lapels of his long coat, making sure his red silk shirt wasn’t wrinkled or twisted unflatteringly. Then he walked up and rang the bell.

“Coming, just a minute.” Stiles called out and looked away from his computer screen. It was late and pitch black outside and Stiles padded downstairs on bare feet, batman patterned pajama pants hanging low on his hips. “What can I do…” Stiles trailed off as he opened the door because the man on the other side of it screamed of predator.

“Hi,” Peter raised his hand in greeting, his lips curved in a smirk as he gave the man opening the door a hungry once over. It would be a damned waste if this man turned out to be a hunter. That neck alone was delicious. “Do you always answer your door shirtless?”

Stiles had gotten over his body issues years ago and so he just shrugged, making the rune like tattoo on his shoulder move. “When it is close to eleven pm I might. So what can I do you for?” Stiles cloaked himself in his magic, giving nothing away. He did not trust this man, he was creepy all over and the way he eyed his neck was downright uncomfortable. Stiles’ mind screamed vampire mafia.

“I can think of more than a few things.” Peter looked Stiles over again, eyes catching on that neck again. “But I knocked to find out who lives here. And why this house has such an interesting energy.”

“Just me and the fleas here.” Stiles would not let this man inside, nope, not a chance. “And what energy are you talking about? Like asbestos?” Stiles knew damned well this house had no energy, it was warded and protected from foundation to rooftop. 

“Oh I think you know what I mean,” Peter leaned in closer, hand braced on the doorframe, “so why don’t you invite me in for tea and we can discuss matters like civilized...people?”

“My Dad raised me better than to invite bad old men inside.” Stiles did not back up but it was close, he stood his ground in the doorway and kept a firm hold of his magic to keep it from lashing out. “Night night now, lurk safely on your way back to where you come from.” 

“Ah but I don’t have my answers and I have such burning questions,” he leaned in a hair more, his smile showing teeth, then jerked back with a curse when he got a door in the face. Literally. His nose might be broken.

“Live with the disappointment asshole!” Stiles called through the door before diving for his phone and calling Scott about the vampire mafia paying him a visit. Guh, he felt like he needed a shower after that encounter. “Scott?” He waited for his friend to answer. “Do you know where I can buy a vampire killing kit?”

“Stiles what the hell? Ugh it’s almost midnight. What have you done now?” Scott’s voice was groggy and a little cranky.

“I did nothing except mind my own business, trolling the internet when this hitman came to my door. Vampire mafia Scott, long leather coat, neck sniffing creeper wanting to know about my house’s weird energy.” Stiles was flailing where he stood.

“Your house gives off no energy which is weird. Did this guy have fangs?” Scott rolled out of bed, murmuring to Allison that it was okay, just a Stiles neighbor thing when she stirred.

“He had a lot of teeth.” Stiles replied. “He tried to get inside, had burning questions, burning questions Scott, what the hell?” Stiles was getting a little hurt that Scott kept on doubting him, something was definitely off about his neighbor and this was proof.

“Stiles just calm down. There are a lot of beings out there who could walk or drive by your house and be confused or intrigued by it okay? I’m trying to help here. I’m trying to be a voice of reason and help you calm down after being freaked out. You can’t just jump to the vampire conclusion without seeing two pointy eyeteeth because he was trying to sniff your neck. _I_ sniff your neck. Necks are a big thing for a lot of supes and if this guy comes back and isn’t a vampire then a vampire killing kit won't do you any good.”

“Never mind Scott, I’ll handle it on my own. Go back to sleep.” Stiles knew he was being pissy but right now he didn’t care as he hung up on Scott. He was the mage of Beacon Hills he could look after himself. Fuck Scott and his morals and reasoning.


	3. Meet Your New Neighbor Son

Talia Hale walked up to the front door of the house next to her baby boy’s dressed in one of her killer suits, heels, and a regal expression, ready to turn the hunter next door into mincemeat. Peter’s return, and sulking over getting nothing, was the last straw. 

She set her finger to the bell and held it down.

“Oh my god!” Stiles shot up in bed, blinking at the bright morning light with pillow creases on his cheek. “I am coming but for the love of all that’s holy, stop ringing the bell!” He untangled himself from his sheets and stomped downstairs. He was more than fed up with these strange visits. “What?” He pulled the door open.

Talia stared, mouth dropping open as she recognized the face of one of her oldest friends’ son. “ _Stiles?!_ ” It came out nearly a yelp.

Stiles blinked some more. “Tally? What brings you here? Did Dad send you? Is he alright?” He waved Talia inside and tried to get his brain working and smother a yawn at the same time. “Are the wards malfunctioning?” 

"No... _you_ are my son's serial killer neighbor?" She was so startled she just blurted it out when she rarely blurted anything out.

“Serial killer?” Stiles furrowed his brows before it dawned on him. “Whaaaat? You’re the mother of my vampire neighbor?” 

"Vampi-" Talia burst out laughing, so very relieved that her baby wasn’t living next door to a hunter. "He's remodeling his kitchen querido. Derek's a contractor so he doesn't have time to work on his own new home until he's done at work for the day."

“But he threw out all my gifts.” Stiles argued. “My cookies Talia, people go to war for those. And he sent the creeper over. Some kind of Dracula wannabe hitman.” 

Talia lost the fight to keep from laughing because oh this was brilliant and she couldn’t wait to tell her brother and watch him sulk for _days_. "T-tha-hahaha- that was my ha-ha my brother Peter."

It took a minute for her to stop laughing and say, "Peter was here to find out what you were doing growing aconite. As for my son and the cookies, your first offerings were peanut butter cookies and Derek's got a nut allergy sweetheart. After that...well he was convinced you were a serial killer out to poison him." 

“Poison him? Please, if I wanted to poison him he would be dead and I would definitely use something other than cookies to do it.” Stiles sniffed. “And it’s white wolfsbane Tally, to heal and help. You helped me get the seeds.” 

“I’m aware of that now but we didn’t know it was _you_.” She took his arm and tugged him out of the house with her, heading for her car. “Come with me. We’ll go to Derek’s current job site and get this whole thing cleared up.”

“Okay, I can do that.” Stiles wouldn’t really argue with a determined alpha and he was super curious about the ‘vampire’ he’d never seen.

Talia drove out to the Whittemore’s home where they were having a new annex built, and where he son was bare chested and digging out a new foundation for said annex. “Yoo-Hoo! Derek!”

Derek looked up from his work, wiping the back of his arm over his forehead at the call and furrowing his brows in confusion at the sight of his mother leading a tall, leggy, lean man with big doe eyes, star studded skin and a luscious looking long neck his way. “Mom? What are you doing here with...” He swept the man with a look and looked back at his mother in bafflement.

"I just thought I'd bring Stiles here to introduce you to your new neighbor." She waited for his reaction and had to hide her amusement when his jaw dropped and he whipped his gaze back to Stiles to gawk.

Stiles raised his hand and wiggled his fingers in something of a greeting. Nothing pale, drawn and undead about that body. Bronze colored, muscled and lickable that was an accurate description. There was a sweatdrop about to disappear into the dark hair below his neighbors belly button and Stiles really wanted to chase it with his tongue.

Derek felt the tips of his ears burn under that look, and slid his hands up and down the shovel handle. “You’re the guy leaving me allergy triggers on my porch?” He asked incredulously, “and burying things in the middle of the night and growing a poisonous plant in the greenhouse?”

“I didn’t know about the allergy douchenozzle and I apologize for that. I grow white wolfsbane yes and some spells have to be performed in moon or starlight and require something buried. You’re the one making noises like you’re building coffins in the middle of the night, keeping your curtains drawn at all times, and sending neck sniffing creepers over...Oh and boobs, you send blondes over too.” 

“You were watching me all the time like a stalker! And I thought you were out to kill me so of course I sent other people over to see if you were shady or not! I’m remodeling my kitchen when I have the time and I don’t like being gawked at when I’m working okay? Since when is keeping curtains closed at _night_ suspicious?”

“Well you...all of you is suspicious.” Stiles waved his hands at Derek. “And you stalked me right back, listening on private conversations and sending goons over instead of coming over and asking me yourself.” 

“What kept you from doing the same?” Derek asked sharply, “You could have knocked on my door just as easily, brought back-up in case I was a threat, so what kept you from coming over an asking me yourself?”

“I sensed something shriveled up and decayed from over there. I mistook it for a member of the undead but it turns out that it must just be your dead personality.” Stiles poked a finger into that delicious chest. “And backup, for you? Hah I say.” 

Derek caught that finger, eyes flashing blue, “What kind of brain goes directly to ‘undead’? Who does that?”

“The local mage,” Talia put in solely to see her son goggle.

“You’re joking,” he looked at his mother, “You have to be. Mages are wise and knowledgeable, not spazzes that jump to conclusions.”

“Fuck you.” Stiles was getting angry. “Ask your mother whose wards are keeping your furry butts safe here. Go ahead, live your shriveled soul life, see if I care, but I want my dishes back.” He turned to leave, stepping on his pajama pants and nearly losing them.

Derek made a sound in the back of his throat that could have been mistaken for a snicker but was the furthest thing from it when the idiot’s ass, a very luscious ass at that, was half exposed by that little slip.

Talia was barely holding in her laughter as she caught Stiles’ arm to keep him from tripping and held him steady so he could pull his pants back up.

“I’m sorry Talia.” Stiles was working very hard to keep control over himself and not obsess over the fact that he had embarrassed himself for life in front of a man he wanted to lick from top to bottom and climb like a tree. He didn’t handle the realization that Scott had been right all that well. “I didn’t mean to harass your offspring, though you need new male relatives, just throwing that out there.” 

She guided him back to the car, smiling gently. “Well Peter could use an attitude adjustment for certain.” She tucked him into the car and ran a hand over his hair when she slid into the driver’s seat. “As for Derek, he’s actually rather shy. Has been since...” she sobered and stared at the road ahead, “He was hurt very badly by people who pretended to love him so he’s rather wary of others now and really doesn’t like to be watched. It’s not you that’s got him so defensive but his own past.”

“I really am sorry but you know me, not a pie I am able to keep my fingers out of and when presented with a mystery...even one of my own making, I run with it. I am a nosy little shit Tally but I never meant to hurt him.” Stiles made a face. “It was fun you know, having a nemesis that wasn’t actually deadly or out to kill my precious people.” Despite having his Dad and Scott and his work as a mage, Stiles was lonely and he spent far too much time with only his imagination as company. 

“Oh querido you haven’t hurt him. I’m just telling you why he’s being a bit of an ass right now. He reacts to being uncomfortable or confused with hostility. Make mint chocolate cookies with no hint of nuts and deliver them yourself and that should help. And just...I think you’d be good for him. Derek needs someone in his life who isn’t one of the crew or the pack.” Talia admitted she’d been too overprotective of her son and stifled his growth but after the Argent and Baccari fiascos she hadn’t been able to help herself. 

“I’m not exactly normal though.” Stiles shrugged, knowing he was a special flavor not appreciated by everyone. “But if he needs a friend he’ll have one. Though if the creeper comes around again, I won’t just break his nose.” 

Talia laughed, “Stiles I will _pay_ you to drive Peter insane. And really, who among the supernatural community is normal?” She turned to go into a drive through, the least she could do was treat Stiles to some curly fries for his trouble so far.


	4. Can I Marry Your Cabinets?

Scott watched Stiles making mint chocolate cookies, “So your neighbor is Talia Hale’s son? The owner of Hale Contractors?”

“Yup, turns out he is Alpha Hale’s only son and the apple of her eye.” Stiles tried to put as much care into the cookies as possible as he actually wanted to make a good impression. “You are free to tell me that you told me so.”

“I said I wouldn’t do that.” Scott propped his chin on his hand, “But if you ever wanna make me the super cookies I am accepting of all baked good apologies.”

“We’ll see. If he throws out these babies too I might just swear off baking for good.” Stiles clicked out generous blobs of batter on a baking pan. “And don’t get me started on Dad, that rat, who knew all along and just laughed at me.”

“I think your Dad just figured that was easier than trying to divert you.” Scott snatched a chocolate chip. “But forget that. I have news.”

“What news, spill and save me from my embarrassed wallowing.” Stiles smacked Scott’s thieving fingers with a spoon and slid the first plate into the oven.

Scott shook his fingers out, “Bro smack me again and I will seriously reconsider making you the baby’s godfather.” He leaned back and secretly filmed Stiles for his reaction.

It took a while for the penny to drop but when it did the reaction was priceless. Stiles’ jaw dropped and the empty plate in his hands dropped. “Oh you _asshole_ , you let me prattle on about me making a fool of myself when I am going to be an uncle.” He threw himself at Scott so he could hug him properly. “Congratulations! That kid will be a menace, Ally’s dimples and your puppy eyes. How are you feeling? How’s Allison feeling?” 

Scott laughed and hugged his best friend back swaying a bit. “I’m a little scared about being a good dad but mostly stupid with happy. Allison’s brilliant. She didn’t even guess until we went to help Kira out on her campus and Kira saw the flicker in Ally’s aura. She’s not sick or super tired or anything.”

“Ally is badass, too badass for morning sickness to dare touch her.” Stiles grinned and ruffled Scott’s hair. “I’m coming by this weekend to put up new wards at your house, nothing but the best and safest for my peeps.” 

“Thanks.” Scott grinned like an idiot and dabbed a schmear of cocoa liquor from Stiles’ nose. “Ally’s already called her Dad and warned him what she’ll do if he tells Victoria before our house has new wards.” 

“I am a very bad man but I almost hope Chris would spill the beans just to see Allison in action.” Stiles had never claimed to be a good man. “Vicky as a grandmother, she’ll probably teach your kid to make dynamite rather than cookies.” Victoria was badass in her own right but she was also crazy and Stiles would never ever forgive her for trying to kill Scott.

Scott snorted then glanced at the foyer when the doorbell rang. He sniffed and cocked his head. “I don’t recognize the scent coming from your front door except it’s wolf. Want me to answer?”

“Nah, watch the cookies, make sure they don’t burn. I’ll go see who’s at the door.” Stiles wiped his palms on his jeans and walked over to the front door and swung it open.

Peter smiled charmingly at the little mage who’d broken his nose. “Good evening Stiles.”

“Not you.” Stiles grimaced. “I don’t want you, what are you doing here?” Stiles leaned against the door jamb, he still had no intentions of letting Peter Hale into his house. Now that he knew what and who he was, he felt much more ready to handle Peter though.

“Why I want to get to know the mage Talia raves about better of course. As her First Enforcer it’s important I know all the pieces on the chessboard.” Peter braced an arm on the opposite side of the door jam.

“Bro you sure you don’t want to switch places?” Scott called from the kitchen.

“Just watch the cookies buddy, I can handle Creeper McBad touch.” Stiles called back. “Besides, Ally might kick my ass if I send you home with creeper cooties on you.” He looked at Peter. “I deal with alpha Hale, if she hasn’t seen it fit to tell you about me then take it up with her. Perhaps you aren’t as important a player as you think you are.” He winked at Peter.

“Oh Tally just likes to think she’s protecting the world at large from me so-” he froze and stiffened at the soft click of a weapon behind him then turned his head to see Christopher Argent and his daughter on the steps below him, the former aiming a gun at him, the latter with a knife in her hand. “Well this is a surprise. Hello _Christopher_.”

“Peter, didn’t know you could move in direct sunlight without turning to stone like the troll you are.” Chris’ tone was even and kind but his hand was steady and the gun unmoving.

“Everything alright Stiles?” Allison asked but she didn’t take her eyes off of the wolf. 

“All’s well Ally.” Stiles was more amused than anything. “I take it you two know each other.” He nodded to Peter and Chris.

“Unfortunately.” Chris replied.

“We’re old....acquaintances.” Peter clucked his tongue at Chris, “Really you’re not supposed to point that at me unless I’m a clear and present threat but then your family has always played fast and loose with your vaunted code. Tell me is the princess the same?”

There was a deep growl from inside the house before Scott came up behind Stiles, his eyes bright red, “Insult my mate again and I’ll hold you down for her while she cuts your tongue out and shoves it somewhere real uncomfortable.”

“It’s okay Scott.” Allison spoke softly, she knew his hormones were in protective mode now that she was carrying their cub.

“No killing or maiming on my front steps please.” Stiles clucked his tongue. “Better just come inside, it is hard to be threatening and posturing over my cookies.” He leveled a look at Peter. “But if you do disrespect Allison again, there won’t be enough left of you to fit in a shoebox.” Stiles smiled sweetly but his heartbeat was steady and told no lie.

Peter just tilted his head, slight confusion and fascination, “The hunter princess and the true alpha. And here I thought those were just silly rumors spread by foolish romantics.” He also caught the scent coming off the female Argent and moved smoothly aside, presenting no threat, so she could get inside. “Truth be told I’d hate to overstay my welcome when certain elements,” he looked at Chris, “would jump the gun so to speak.” 

As soon as the woman was out of his exit path, Peter slid down the steps, deliberately brushing against Christopher. And snatching his gun along the way to eject the clip and the round in the chamber. He tossed the gun itself back at the hunter with a smirk when he reached his car. “Just in case. I like to have a bit of all banes in the area to cover every eventuality.” Then he got into his car and sped off.

Chris looked grim and unemotional but Stiles didn’t miss how his eyes followed Peter’s car until it was out of sight. 

“Get inside now Chris, you can flirt later.” He left the doorway and went back to the kitchen, knowing the hunter would follow. He wondered about the history between Peter and Chris but he would find out sooner or later. 

Scott pulled Allison close and nuzzled her neck sweetly before following Stiles back to the kitchen. “Okay I apologize for not rushing over with garlic and stakes after that weirdo showed up before because you’re right. Camp vampire just oozes off him like fog.”

“I got a vampire killing kit stashed under the stairs.” Stiles shrugged, humor lighting up honey eyes. It arrived before Talia did. 

Allison rolled her eyes but she didn’t get into anything instead she walked to Stiles’ refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water. 

Scott chuckled, relaxing once again. “How come you’re here though Chris? Usually you avoid Stiles.”

“I was just spending time with Allison and when she said she was coming over I offered to drive her. I am not staying.” Chris did avoid Stiles and he had no plans to stop. 

“Thanks for that. Not that I mind picking you up,” Scott said to Allison, “I’m just glad we both have more Stiles time now.”

“You’re just buttering me up now so you can have your super cookies.” Stiles sniffed with laughter in his voice and then he grabbed three cooling cookies and a napkin and handed them to Chris. 

“Thanks…” Chris looked confused but he accepted the cookies.

“What is it with you and feeding people?” Allison asked Stiles.

“I don’t know.” Stiles shook his head and grabbed a basket, trying to arrange cookies so they looked yummy and inviting and impossible to throw in the trash.

“It’s part of his whole caretaker thing. Comes with being the mage of the territory. Taking care of the people in it is part of who he is. ‘As much a part of him as his blood and bone.’ is how Doc Deaton put it once.” Scott said, pride for his brother in every line of his face. “Remember Talia said you’ll have to deliver those by hand, not just leave them on Derek’s porch.”

“Yes, I am aware. I am not going to leave it on the porch but I am not going over there right now either. I am having Bro and Ally time right now.” Stiles walked over to hug Allison. “Congratulations Mama.”

Allison blushed a little and hugged Stiles back. “It’s still really early.” 

Scott beamed, “But still amazing. _You_ are amazing. I saw that eyeroll Chris.”

“I said nothing.” Chris replied, munching on his cookies.

“You are both amazing.” Stiles beamed at them. “Scotty, have you told Allison about the bet you lost when we were eight? And you promised to name your firstborn Stiles or Stilinska the magnificent?” 

“You’re not seriously going to hold me to that are you?” Scott said, all puppy eyes as Allison’s head whipped around to stare at him. “Do you really want my kid to hate me Stiles? I like your chosen name, it’s a good name but it’s not the kind of name you call out in a classroom unless your given name is so awful you have to use your last. You don’t want your godchild bullied do you?”

“Scotty, I would never saddle a child with a horrible name.” Stiles shook his head. “Of course I am not going to hold you to it...just the magnificent part.” 

“Stiles.” Allison’s voice took on a warning edge. 

“I’m kidding. Jeez.” Stiles rolled his eyes.

“Maybe we can consider Magnus as a middle name for a boy? Not like it’s not one of the more popular names now with Shadowhunters and all that.” Scott kissed Allison’s temple. “But that’s a later discussion. Hey tell Stiles about Kira being all whizzy over the ‘gorgeous bundle of werewolf seduction’ she winds up sitting next to in her sociology class.”

“Oh yeah.” Allison’s eyes lit up and she told Stiles about the tall, dark and gorgeous amazon sitting next to Kira. “Kira is head over heels for her but she doesn’t know her name or if this wolfy plays on the same team.”

“Who could not play on team Kira? She is adorable.” Stiles asked in bafflement. “Kira should just go for it I think.” 

“That’s what we told her and she turned into you in middle school,” Scott told him.

“And what does that mean?” Stiles asked pleasantly. “I can’t recall anything but being awesome.” 

“The first few times you tried to talk to Lydia you turned bright red and the only thing that came out of your mouth was ‘I-hi-I-you-wow.’ bro. I love you but you have never had any chill when you like someone.”

“That might be true but Scott, Scotty, Scotty-boy don’t get me started on you trying to nut up enough to ask this gorgeous creature out.” He slung an arm around Allison’s waist and leaned his head on her shoulder. “You don’t have chill or game either.” 

“I know but I did eventually ask her out. And then came the werewolves and the biting and all that followed. There is not enough chill in the world for all that craziness. And oh God Lydia coming into her powers and adopting a hellhound will be with me til I die. Course Jackson’s expression when he met Parrish will too and it remains a near and dear memory.” Scott snickered. He was still thrilled that Lydia just seeking her happiness and someone who treated her with the respect she deserved wound up with Jackson getting the shaft for someone prettier, nicer, and way more badass than the kanima had been.

“Our lives really are insane.” Allison nodded, squeezing Stiles before moving so she could lean into her mate. “But never boring.”

“And yet you found me crazy for thinking a vampire had moved in next door.” Stiles grinned.

“There are no such things as vampires.” Chris spoke up. 

“We’ll see.” Stiles just replied with a sing song voice.

“Everyone says there’s no vampires. Deaton, Chris, that cranky old bastard who taught you how to use your magic, Satomi...well every supernatural I’ve ever met says the same.” Scott scooted the salt shaker around in a circle. “But maybe there are. I mean I didn’t think ghosts existed until I was possessed by one.”

“That’s exactly my point.” Stiles nodded in agreement. “They exist somewhere out there and I will uncover one.” Stiles lived with one foot in a world that was filled with myths and fairytale creatures. He knew the impossible was possible. “The lickable wolf next door is not one but I will continue my quest.” 

Scott sighed, “Oh God. Stiles please, pretty please, do not reach Lydia levels with your neighbor. Please? For me?”

“I already dream of pouring chocolate syrup on his chest and licking it off so I think the train has already left the station.” Stiles admitted. “I want to put flowers in his beard and sing him serenades and suck his soul out through his cock.” 

“And that is my cue to leave.” Chris looked horrified.

Scott was too used to Stiles to bother being even mildly discomfited. He just sighed, “I’ll stock up on gift cards to the curly fry place.” Because when Stiles moped, he moped with curly fries and milkshakes.

“Such little faith in my wooing skills.” Stiles pouted but he was also realistic and hottie wolf seemed to hate him so there was anyone’s guess on what would happen. “But curly fries are always welcome.”

“Just lemme know when you need a bro night.” Scott plucked an apple from the bowl Stiles kept on the table and sent a plea heavenward that Derek Hale would not reject the mint chocolate cookies.

\-----------------------------------

Derek paused in his current activity, installing the cork floor for his kitchen, and cocked his head to catch the sound he’d just heard. Knocking. Someone was knocking on his door. He got up, wiping his hands on his ancient jeans, and went to answer the door. Blinking when he saw who was on the other side. His neighbor.

“Hi, my name is Stiles Stilinski and I just want to welcome you to the neighborhood.” Stiles held out his basket of cookies. “I promise there are no trace of nuts, garlic or silver anywhere near these cookies.” 

He blinked again then couldn’t help saying it, in a baffled tone, “You are a really strange man.” As soon as he realized what he’d said he felt his ears growing hot in embarrassment and he covered it by stepping back and gesturing in a jerky invitation to come in.

“Not the first time I’ve heard that.” Stiles smiled and walked inside, looking around curiously. “Oh my god...I want to marry your kitchen cupboards.” They were amazing and obviously custom and hand made. 

“That’d be a little difficult since I’m pretty sure there’s a clause about sentience being a requirement when you get a marriage license in this country. Careful,” Derek warned, “There’s glue on the floor where the tiles haven’t been laid yet.”

“If that is all that stands between me and these cupboards I could always make them sentient.” Stiles wiggled his fingers, shooting a few multi colored sparks just for show. “I won’t walk in and mess things up...besides, a little bare at the moment.” Stiles looked at the one sad folding chair that was what existed in the kitchen right now. 

“Not much point in having the furniture moved in until the remodel is done.” Derek shrugged. “Please don’t enchant my cupboards though. I’m not interested in living in a modern Beauty and the Beast storyland.”

“No flirty candlesticks? Singing teapots? I am sure you would make an awesome Disney Princess.” Stiles looked around some more, he was stupidly curious by nature so he couldn’t help himself. “I’ve apologized to your mother but it is you I should apologize to. I never meant to make you think I was trying to hurt or kill you, I just get lost in my own head sometimes.” 

Derek leaned against his new granite counter. “It’s alright. I probably overreacted calling my Mom before talking to you myself.”

“That’s okay, she’s your alpha, you are supposed to call her.” Stiles shrugged, apologies didn’t come easy to him, he was too much of an asshole for that. “I was kind of hoping we could start over though.” 

“I’m not good at ‘starting over’ but we can brush it off as a joke we’ll tell our grandnieces and nephews and move on. Your pots and plates are in that box by the way,” he nodded at a box on the counter. “I have to ask, where in the name of God did you get that thing with the cows?”

“It comes from my Babcia. Old Polish heirloom.” Stiles was grinning from ear to ear. “It is the ugliest thing in the world, needlessly to say I love it. I think I got it because my babcia is a sadistic old crone.”

“I’d say that’s very likely but probably not as bad as my great aunt Linda. Who dressed me and my sister in matching dresses when I was six to take our picture and keep it as blackmail.” Derek unfolded his arms, tucking his hands into his pockets instead.

Stiles stared at him, not knowing if he was joking or not. “So, did she raise Peter then?” Because that sounded like something Peter Hale could do. “I am both scared and impressed actually. I will keep that trick in my back pocket for Scott’s offspring.”

“Scott?” Derek didn’t know why he was indulging his curiosity about the odd duck next door except those amber doe eyes just got to him.

“My brother.” Stiles nodded, love for Scott shining through his eyes. “Different parents but brothers in all the ways that count.” He paused for a moment. “Oh and you should probably know he’s an alpha, the true alpha whatever that really means, just don’t freak out if you smell him or see red eyes over at my house. Scott is a puppy and he and your mother know all about each other.” Stiles figured it was best to give Derek a fair warning since Scott was over at his house a lot.

“Is this the alpha that lost his boxers in the river on our property during his first full shift?” Derek asked, cocking his head to the side a little, remembering his mother doing her level best not to laugh about it.

“Maybeeee.” Stiles agreed with a sly grin. “When he was shifted he didn’t care but after...It was amazing.” Stiles was still laughing about that.

“Mom had to pull him out of the river because he couldn’t swim, his clothes got tangled around his back paws,” Derek’s lips were twitching. “I think Laura almost died laughing.”

“Always good for a laugh, that is my Scotty.” Stiles smiled affectionately. “He still blushes when you remind him of that.”

“It’s not easy adjusting to a full shift. My baby sister still makes fun of me for biting my tail.” It was an absent statement as he remembered chasing his tail the first time he’d taken on his full shift. Well the first time after the initial painful gaining of it that was.

“It’s a gruesome, ugly path for something so cute and fluffy as endgame.” Stiles turned serious because gaining a full shift, evolving to that point, it was not puppies and rainbows. “I was so ready to step into necromancy when Scott up and died on me.” 

“It’s a good thing you didn’t.” Derek said seriously. “Necromancy isn’t worth the price it commands, it never is. Most magic dealing with death isn’t.”

“I know that, I do.” Stiles agreed, he’d had people dying on him before but he still didn’t know how he’d actually act if he lost Scott. “I’m not a nice person, that’s something you need to know about me, Scott helps keeping me on the right side of things.” 

“I think I figured that out about you somewhere between you breaking Peter’s nose and Mom hauling you down to meet me.” His voice was dry as dust. “There’s no reason you need to be nice if how you are works for you. Being nice can be a liability far more than being ruthless.” It was the voice of experience. Almost every time he’d been kind to people in the past had come back to haunt him.

“It can be a strength too.” Stiles shrugged a little. “I just prefer the gray areas, much easier to breathe there. And your uncle deserved the broken nose, if I was unsure before that was pretty much set in stone after his visit earlier today.” 

“He’s mostly harmless if you’re not threatening his family actually,” Derek told him, opening the mini fridge as he did and offering a bottle of water. “Peter likes riling people up and seeing what makes them tick. He has a degree in psychology on top of his law degree.”

“Genius level assholes are the worst.” Stiles would know since he was one. “Hey, do you know the history between him and Chris Argent? Trying to get something personal out of Chris is worse than pulling teeth.” 

Derek’s amusement dropped sharply away. “Your friend is mated to Christopher’s daughter right? Mom mentioned the true alpha and the heir of the Argent family bonding.”

“Allison yeah, Argent matriarch now since Chris and Vicky are divorced.” Stiles was serious too as he replied. “Allison has the good parts of her parents and nothing of her grandfather thank fuck.” 

Derek nodded in agreement. “And you know that weres don’t really choose their mates? We can marry whoever we choose sleep and fall in love with legions but once we find our mate we can’t even look at anyone else without heavy drugs.”

“I know, I did extensive research when Scott lost the few braincells he had after meeting Ally.” Stiles nodded. “And truthfully, that kind of devotion and dependence scares the crap out of me.” 

Derek nodded. “Now imagine finding your mate, that mate being willing, nearly bonding, then your mate leaving you to marry someone else to please their father. The hunter aspect on top of it just makes it worse.-”

“Fuck that sucks ass.” Stiles’ eyes flashed with emotion. “Makes me want to give Chris anal worms.” Still he didn’t know the whole story but you just didn’t do that. “Since your uncle doesn’t seem the type to appreciate pity, I will still kick his ass if he creeps on me.”

“That’s not likely to make him stop. As for punishment you can leave that to Peter now that Chris is back in Beacon Hills. He’s more than qualified to torment Chris without drawing so much as a drop of blood.” Derek drank from his water.

“Good, I like Chris better than Victoria but that isn’t saying much. Torment away I say.” Stiles had a feeling Chris was no happier than the man he had left behind but that did nothing to give Peter the years he’d lost. 

“The only people who like Victoria are murderers.” Derek shrugged. “I don’t know how your brother’s mate turned out decent because both gene pools are stagnant breeding grounds of insanity and disease.”

“Please, don’t hold back on my account, tell me how you really feel.” Stiles said dryly but he couldn’t disagree with Derek, he was right. That Allison was the Xena, Disney princess she was, well it was a marvel. 

Derek just slugged back some more water. “Peter’s worse when he gets started about the Argent family. Much worse.”

“Don’t blame him, I love Allison but trying to deal with the rest of them is as useful and productive as pissing against the wind.” Stiles pushed his cookies at Derek. “Have one before you give me anxiety.” 

“Your scent says you’re not a stranger to that.” Despite the asshole words he did take a cookie from the pile, the scent of mint and chocolate had been taunting him all this time, and bit in. His brows winged up as the perfect balance of mint and chocolate flooded his mouth.

“Anxiety, panic attacks and severe concentration disorder, I’ve got all the goodies.” Stiles was comfortable with who he was and it had been a long time since his last panic attack. “But I also got mad baking skills.” 

Derek had to fight not to inhale the rest of the cookie. “I can’t argue with that.” And that was as close to praise as he’d get because otherwise he’d start waxing poetic and embarrass himself.

Stiles just beamed at him, taking the praise for what it was. “I’ll leave you to your cookies Big Guy.” Stiles pat Derek on the shoulder and got ready to leave. “My door is almost always metaphorically open so don’t be a stranger.”

“I have a feeling you’re going to make doing that an impossibility.” Something about his neighbor drew Derek’s attention on every level.

“That’s me,” Stiles nodded. “I’m like herpes, once I’m introduced you will never get rid of me.” Stiles looked stricken with what had just come out of his mouth, comparing himself to a STD was a perfect way of making a good impression. With one more flailing finger wave he simply fled, before he could make more of a fool out of himself.

Derek blinked then, once he was sure Stiles couldn't hear him, he threw his head back and laughed.


	5. Kitten Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PREPARE THINESELF FOR MUCH FLUFFNESS.

Derek heard the pitiful mew for the twentieth time but even with his night vision and enhanced senses he could not for the life of him find the kitten that had apparently hidden itself under his house. It was loud and heartbreaking and he couldn't sleep.

He looked at Stiles’ house and the light blazing in an upstairs room and decided he might as well seek Stiles advice. Maybe he could Magic the kitten out.

Stiles had just finished some code for extra cash when he heard the careful knock on his front door. He was a bit high on sugar and success at beating the code so he bounced down the stairs happily. “Derek, hi!” A wide smile split his face as he saw who was on the other side of the door.

“Hi. Are you busy right now?” Derek ducked his head a little and shifted on his feet awkwardly. 

“Nah, just finished a project.” It had been a few days since Stiles had seen Derek so he was more than happy to have him on his stoop. “What can you use me for?”

The mental image that bloomed in his head made Derek glad that it was dark enough on Stiles’ porch to hide the red tips of his ears. He gestured to the access way of his foundation. “There's a kitten under the house that I can't find. I was hoping you might have an idea.”

“Ah, lead the way Big Guy.” Stiles nodded and stuck his feet into some worn sneakers by the door before following Derek into the night. 

He heard the pitiful mews as they got closer and it made his heart wrench. 

Derek crouched by an open accessway just beside the back porch. “I can’t see it even using my wolf vision. And it’s been mewing for a good hour.”

“But it is on its own?” Stiles just wanted to know he wouldn’t be breaking up a litter or keeping a baby from its mama. It didn’t sound like it but he wanted to be sure.

“There’s just one heartbeat, one voice,” Derek confirmed. “I haven’t smelled very many cats around here. Most avoid werewolves as a rule.”

“Yeah, when Scotty got bit at first, the cats at the vet clinic went insane, scratched him up really good.” Stiles nodded and listened a bit more, tilting his head to hear better and then he wiggled his fingers, calling for the kitten with his magic, tugging very gently in case the cat was stuck somewhere in there. 

A tiny little bundle of shivering fluff came floating out, still mewing loudly, eyes closed. “I think it’s barely a day old.” Derek cupped the kitten in one hand and looked it over, eyes going wide as he looked up at Stiles. “It’s missing a leg.”

Stiles nodded. “Hind leg, probably why it was abandoned, poor little thing.” Stiles looked at the kitten in Derek’s hand, it was so tiny and helpless. “If you hadn’t heard it, it wouldn’t have lasted the night.” Stiles still wasn’t sure it was going to survive, it would need warmth and caring and feedings regularly for a long time. 

Derek cradled the kitten close to his chest. he couldn’t purr but he rumbled softly in his throat, letting the kitten know it was safe, wasn’t going to be abandoned again. “Can you call your friend and see if he’ll bring what’s needed?”

“Sure thing dude.” Stiles had difficulty tearing his eyes from the big bad werewolf cradling the baby cat so very gently. “Scotty’ll come, he’s a good guy like that.” 

“Thanks. Mind if I wait in your kitchen with,” he sniffed at the kitten, “her?”

“Nah, you’re welcome anytime, I told you that.” Stiles rose and brushed some grass off the knees of his sleep pants and walked inside in front of Derek, leading the way. “You want something while you wait, coffee or something?” Stiles grabbed his phone and called Scott.

“I’d appreciate some cocoa if you have any.” Derek sat at Stiles’ kitchen table with the kitten still held close and listened shamelessly to the voice on the other end of the line.

“Hey bro. What’s up?” 

“Best buddy, bro, light of my life...We’ve got a bit of a situation here.” Stiles put a pan on the stove and pulled out milk and the good chocolate while he talked. “Derek found an abandoned kitten, just born and missing a leg, we could really use you grabbing some supplies and come over.”

“Naturally missing the leg or has it been chewed off?” Scott was already moving to get the necessities gathered.

“There is no wound so I don’t think it’s been chewed off, more like natural disfiguration.” Stiles was warming the milk so he could melt the chocolate in it. 

“Okay I’ll bring the gear over for now but tomorrow you or Derek need to bring the kitten in to the clinic if it survives the night so we can run tests for anything worse than a missing leg.”

Derek stroked a finger over the kitten, still keeping her warm against his chest, and hoped she didn’t have any life threatening birth defects.

“Thanks buddy, see you when you get here. Kiss your mate for me.” Stiles finished the cocoa and poured it into a Star Wars mug for Derek. 

“Thanks,” Derek took a sip of the cocoa, the truly amazing cocoa. “Is everything you make in the kitchen perfection?”

“No, just practice and learning from trial and error.” Stiles poured a mug for himself too, after his mom died it was clear that John wasn’t going to handle the cooking so if Stiles didn’t want to live on frozen dinners he had to learn to cook.

“How much trial did the perfect cup of cocoa take?”

“Let’s just say I had to learn how to clean out pots of burned milk a lot too.” Stiles grinned at him.

Derek smiled back, “Worth it.” He sipped at his cocoa and listened to the kitten’s breathing and heartbeat while he waited.

It didn’t take long for Scott to arrive carrying a box filled with the necessary items for an abandoned kitten. He strode right in and set the box on Stiles’ counter. “Hey. May I?” He held a hand out to Derek.

Derek took a second before he handed the kitten over to Scott, and almost snatched her back when she began to mew again.

“Oh I know sweetheart,” Scott cooed, bringing the kitten up so he could give her a good once over. “Just who is this stranger taking you away from your nice warm spot and poking at you?” He kept cooing soothingly to the kitten as he examined her to make sure she wasn’t in a desperate situation.

Stiles found himself holding his breath and hoping that the kitten wouldn’t require being taken away straight away or something because it was clear Derek had already bonded and lost his heart to the little thing and Stiles didn’t want him to be heartbroken. 

Scott finished his exam and handed the kitten back to Derek, “From what I can see she’s healthy but I’m going to want a more in depth exam tomorrow. For now I’ve got a box and heating pad for her so she can stay warm, and special formula as well as bottles. Since I doubt she was able to suckle and get colostrum we’ll have to keep a sharp eye and nose out for possible infections.” He turned and picked a can out of the box. “The formula’s easy enough to mix up. You want it body temperature and to have several small feedings throughout the day. Every two hours is best.”

Stiles listened and had no doubts that Derek would care for the little thing to the very best of his abilities. He wondered a little how it would go when Derek had to head to work. “Derek will get her big and strong in no time.” He would wait until Scott had done a real exam so he would know he wouldn’t mess anything up but then he would totally offer to give the kitten a magical boost, just enough that her immune system would be strong.

Derek nodded in understanding, listening and watching as Scott prepared the formula. “Will loud noises be hazardous to her?”

“No. Right now she’s mostly deaf, ears are still folded down and closed, and later when she’s got her full hearing it’ll be best to expose her to as many sounds as possible. But definitely no bringing kitty into an active construction zone. You can bring her to the clinic for babysitting during the work day.”

Derek shook his head. “No. benefit of being the boss is that I can send out a crew instead of being there in person all the time. I can deal with paperwork and do estimates until she’s weaned.”

“And if there is something you have to oversee, I work mostly from home.” Stiles spoke up. “I can think I can handle a little dustbunny for a little while.” Stiles looked at both Derek and Scott. 

“He’s not bad at looking after tiny helpless things,” Scott confirmed, handing Derek the tiny bottle of formula and showing him how to feed the kitten. “He’s a terrible influence though. Mrs. Paisley’s parrot still calls her new husband a cocksucking moose knuckle.”

“Creative,” Derek drawled.

“Well he is one.” Stiles would not apologize for it. “So it’s not as if the parrot is lying and to my defense it must be an extremely intelligent bird because I only said that once and I was covered in corrosive goblin spit up.”

“Spit up? Were you babysitting a goblin?” Derek asked curiously while Scott giggled.

“Babysitting, accidentally kidnapping...is there really a difference?” Stiles flailed his hands around. “The little bugger had crawled into the hood of my hoodie when I was in the woods setting wards.”

Scott’s giggles reached hysterical levels.

“Does that sort of thing happen to you often?”

“I wish I could say no.” Stiles admitted lightly. “And you better be careful.” He wagged his finger at Scott. “I know all the dirt on you.”

Scott still couldn’t stop laughing.

“You’re just a little bit of a disaster aren’t you?” Derek had a quizzical tilt to his head and a soft, charmed look on his face. Like he was looking at some sort of majestic woodland creature.

“It’s not really that bad.” Stiles began to argue but then he trailed off because okay, when you put together everything that happened to him or he made happen, he was a little bit of a disaster. “I make it work.”

“He does,” Scott managed weakly. “Besides he’s the best mage ever.”

“Aw, you’re making me blush bro.” Stiles fanned himself with his hand and batted his lashes at Scott but he didn’t argue because hell no, he was badass to the core when it came to his magic. 

“Just dealing in truth. You’re ridiculous but it works for you,” Scott draped an arm over Stiles’ shoulders.

“God yes it does,” Derek mumbled into his chest, fixing his attention on the kitten.

Stiles raised a brow and traded a look with Scott but he didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to ruin anything now that he had Derek sitting in his kitchen and being friendly and he didn’t want Derek to leave. 

Scott didn’t say anything but he did pat Stiles on the shoulder. “There’s reading material in the box and Stiles can give you my number if you run into any questions.”

“Thank you.” Derek looked back up.

“If she makes it what are you gonna name her?” Scott figured Derek would name her something elegant.

Derek looked down at the little thing against his chest and smiled, “Beans. I’ll name her Beans.”

“Beans is a good name.” Stiles agreed. “There’s power in names and Beans will be great.” He leaned against Scott for a moment since he knew Scott had to get back home to Allison, it was late after all. 

Scott stared for a long minute then squeezed Stiles in a hug. “Give me a call tomorrow when you have the time bro.” That name told Scott more about who Derek Hale was, personality wise, than anything else could and he wanted to caution Stiles to step carefully. Because a man who would name an orphaned, special needs kitten Beans was soft in the heart underneath that armored shell Scott could see and he had a feeling Stiles was already worming his way under the shell.

“You know I don’t survive one day without hearing your dulcet tones so of course I’ll call. Give my love to Ally.” Stiles got what Scott was saying without words and to be honest it scared the crap out of him. He still wanted to straddle Derek and hump him right now but he also wanted to cradle the man’s heart and keep it safe, allowing it to stay warm and soft.

“Will do. She’s probably going to come by to pester you about nursery wards sometime soon anyway.” Scott gave Stiles another squeeze then headed for the door. “See you tomorrow Derek.”

Derek nodded, “Thank you again Dr. McCall.”

“Scott. Just call me Scott,” he said with a grin before he was out the door and jogging back to his car.

“Told you, he’s a good guy and a total softiewolf alpha.” Stiles smiled as he watched Scott drive away and then he walked over and ran the pad of his finger over Bean’s fur. “She will make it Derek.” Stiles had faith in that.

“I think she will too. She’s warming up and eating without trouble.” Derek smiled at the little gray furball that was noisily drinking from the bottle. “Those are good signs.”

“Really good signs.” Stiles nodded. “And she is strong, strong and brave enough to cry out until you heard her and saved her, she will be strong enough to to grow into a large, spoiled queen of a cat.” 

“Empress not queen. She’s going to be spayed as soon as she’s old enough for it.” He nuzzled the tiny kitten as she finished eating. Then he got up to grab a dry, clean terry cloth to clean her up and stimulate her digestive system. “No unplanned babies for Beans.”

“Smart thinking, considerate and smart thinking.” Stiles smiled and watched Beans squirm a little in Derek’s hands before she fell asleep. 

Derek almost cooed. Almost. She was just so sweet and tiny. He stood up though. “I’d better get her things set up in my place and get started napping before her next feeding.” He met Stiles’ eyes, still smiling, “Thanks for the help.”

“Anytime.” And Stiles meant that, he had a feeling he would do anything for Derek if he asked him to. “My door is always open. Make sure to catch some shuteye now and I’ll call in tomorrow and hear how Beans is doing.” 

“I’ll look forward to it.” Derek realized what he’d just said and ducked his head, grabbing the box, and fleeing with the tips of his ears burning red.

“Damn, I am in so much trouble.” Stiles muttered to himself as he stood by the counter in his kitchen. “Sooo much trouble.” He should get to bed himself and he had a feeling he would dream of soft eyes, fluffy beard and so very gentle hands.


	6. Foxy Foxy

Derek ignored his older sister’s continuing stares at the pocket of his shirt where Beans was snuggled into safe and sound. “So why come home for Spring Break? Is your kitsune still oblivious?”

“I’m beginning to think she’s just not interested.” Laura drooped and gave the pocket lump a suspicious look when it moved, all the cats she’d encountered were evil demons. “I’ve done everything except push my tits right in her face...and she’s _so_ cute and sweet and I just want to love her.” The last sentence came out as a whine.

“Have you considered actually asking her out?” Derek put his signature on the final piece of today’s paperwork.

“Yes...but I don’t want to spook her either or come on too strong.” Laura sighed. “But enough about me, I came home to avoid my pitiful not existent love life, what’s going on with you?”

“Raising Beans, doing my job, having Friday night dinners with my neighbor after he babysits Beans so I can get some remodeling work done.” Derek filed away the paperwork. “If the flirting you’ve been doing isn’t working then you’ll have to say it flat our Laur you know that.”

“I do but I am trying very hard to ignore that fact and you are not helping any.” Of course she knew he was right but she was scared okay. Kira could matter and Laura didn’t want to blow it. “I just want some sympathy complaining about life in general and hear all the gossip about your non hunter neighbor.”

“Why gossip? I could introduce you instead.” Derek actually really wanted to see Stiles’ reaction to Laura.

“And I will definitely let you do that but I want to hear about him first and why you’re ears are turning red just now that you are thinking about him.” Laura waggled her brows at her brother.

“You know what...no. I think you need to meet Stiles first.” Derek locked up the filing cabinets and shut down his computer. “And now’s the perfect time since I’m done for the day.”

“I am so curious but you have that evil look about you that says I might regret this.” Still Laura had never been a coward in anything but love so she stood as well and got ready to meet the person who had gotten so underneath her baby brother’s skin.

“You might if he doesn’t like you.” Derek looped his arm over her shoulder. “But he likes Mom so you should be okay as long as you don’t fall back onto anything Peter taught you.”

“I’ve heard about Peter’s complete failure at getting past your neighbor’s front door.” Laura agreed. It was amusing and it would also make Peter all the more adamant to pester the poor mage. “Alright, let’s go before I lose my courage.”

Derek pulled her with him to his truck and drove them to his home while the kitten in his pocket began to mew and fuss. It was feeding time. He saw Scott’s van in Stiles’ driveway as he parked his truck. The sound of laughing from Stiles’ backyard was pleasant and meant the mood was relaxed. “I need to get Beans a bottle. Just go ahead around the back and introduce yourself as my sister. Since Dr. McCall’s there you have good odds for being welcomed on your own.”

“Alright but if this turns out to be a trick like when you and cora tied me to that tree, I will kill you.” She pointed her fingers at Derek to show she would be keeping her eyes on him before she crossed over the grass and walked around the the neighbor house. “Knock, knock!” She called out loud so she wouldn’t be startling anyone.

Scott looked up from where he and Stiles were debating on whether to grill steaks or salmon while Allison and Kira were murdering potatoes for salad inside at the call and saw the woman walking toward them. “There is no way that is not a Hale. The hair alone dude.”

“And the eyes and the serial killer glint in them.” Stiles nodded and beamed up at the strange woman, knowing that she had definitely heard him with her werewolf hearing. “Hello and welcome to my humble backyard.” 

“Hi, I am Laura Hale, Derek’s sister.” The yard was filled with flowers and herbs and you had to watch where you were putting your feet not to step on anything. 

Scott held his hand out, smiling his usual friendly smile. “Scott McCall, this spazz’s,” he nudged Stiles’ shoulder with his, “best friend. Are you the sister that was trying to convince Derek to just talk to Stiles instead of jumping to conclusions?”

“Guilty as charged.” Laura’s smile was easy and wide. “And I heard about you too, as the voice of reason with the two of you.”

“That is just scary on so many levels.” Stiles admitted, because Scott is not meant to be the level headed one. “But come join us, there is beer on the porch rail and there will be more than enough food.” He tried very hard to look nonchalant. “I hope Derek will come too.” 

Scott rolled his eyes but smiled because he’d been just as bad as Stiles when he’d wanted to date Allison. Speaking of, he turned to beam at his mate as she and Kira came out of the back door.

Kira was holding the tub of freshly made potato salad and looked up with one foot about to step down. She spotted Laura, squeaked, and fell down the porch stairs, potato salad going flying as she sprawled in the dirt.

“Oh my, are you alright?” Laura had barely managed to see Kira’s face before it was buried in the dirt and she hurried over, kneeling next to the kitsune without giving a second thought to the potato salad, Stiles was wearing the most of it anyway. “Kira..” She couldn’t believe Kira was here.

Kira made a humiliated sound into the grass.

“Uh you know Kira?” Scott was already there, crouching to help Kira to her feet.

“Scott,” Kira hissed, looking a little panicked and a lot embarrassed, before looking to Stiles and saying in Japanese, _”Stiles it’s **her**.”_ She knew Stiles would understand, he knew very well about making a fool of himself in front of someone he liked.

Speaking of, Derek came loping into view, kitten cradled in his hand as he fed her. Then he stopped, eyes wide as he looked at the scene. “What happened here?”

“Just a tiny mishap.” Stiles wiped potato salad out of his hair before he snapped his fingers and vanished it all. “Nothing to mention really.” He poked at Scott with his shoe to make him leave and give Laura the chance to help Kira up. This was Kira’s wolf and they needed to spend time together, to actually talk. Stiles was a mess when it came to his own relationships but he was much smarter when it came to others.

Scott frowned at Stiles, ignoring the nudge, “How do you know Kira?” He asked Laura Hale again. He didn’t speak Japanese and something was upsetting his pack member. “She freaked out as soon as she saw you. Have you done something to-”

Derek saw Laura’s devastated then insulted expression and did what he always did to save Laura’s bacon. 

He embarrassed the hell out of her. “You’re the kitsune my sister’s been mooning over for the last year and a half?”

Kira’s head snapped around to him, her eyes widening again, “What? She....what? What?”

“Thank you so much Derek, remind me to return the favor.” Laura looked up at him but her cheeks and ears were turning very red. “But yes, Kira is the one I’ve been mooning over.” The cat was out of the bag now and there was absolutely no reason to deny it, if Kira rejected her then she did, there was nothing Laura could do about it. “I really like you.” She looked back down at Kira.

“I...really? I thought you might last semester when we were partnered for that presentation but then you...never said anything.”

Scott let Kira go gently, making sure she had her feet before stepping back to let the two women hash out their miscommunication.

“I wanted to but then...I lost my nerve. I’ve tried to show you though.” Laura lowered her voice and spoke for Kira alone.

Stiles walked over to Derek and a greedily suckling Beans. “She’s looking good.” 

“She is.” Derek grinned when he saw the kitsune plant her hands on her hips and, reading her lips he gathered that she was telling his sister that she wasn’t a mind reader and that Laura should have used her words. Then he looked back down at the kitten. “Two weeks old now and getting stronger every day. She hissed at Peter yesterday and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so insulted.”

“Smart too.” Stiles beamed at the kitten, it was clear that she would survive and with Derek she was thriving. “Peter deserves a bit of hissing and insult in his life, it will keep him from getting too comfortable.” 

“Considering the last hex you put on him when he appeared out of nowhere behind you, comfortable is not what I’d call him.” Derek smirked as Beans finished her bottle. Then he held the kitten out to Stiles. “Want to say hello for a little while?”

“Yes.” Stiles made greedy grabbyhands and took the tiny kitten in his arms and cuddled her close, scratching gently at the impossibly soft and downy fur behind her ears. “And Peter snuck up at my back, he is lucky a hex was all he got. Normally I go straight for the crotch, most creatures have sensitive family jewels.”

“Most do.” Derek wanted to melt and coo at the picture Stiles made with Beans. Even as he heard a little squeak and looked over to see his sister had cupped the kitsune’s face and pulled her in for a kiss. “Finally. She really has been mooning and starry eyed over your friend there and it’s been so weird. It’s not like Laura not to go for what or who she wants.”

“It can be so much harder when it is something you really, really want.” Stiles lit up as the sun when a tiny little purr rose from the furball in his arms. “It’s easier to just deprive yourself from what you want than to face the possibility that it’s taken away for good.”

Laura kept the kiss going for as long that she could, now that she finally had Kira’s lips against her own she didn’t want them to go away anytime soon.

Scott came wandering over gave Beans a little rub with a finger over her rump. “Well I’m glad Kira’s wolf doesn’t live on the other side of the world. I’m pretty sure your sister is going to murder you later though.”

Derek shook his head. “No but she will get even one way or another.”

“She’s an older sister, of course she’ll get even, in the most humiliating way possible most likely.” Stiles grinned up at Derek. 

“Not like I’m unused to that. Except for Peter and my father there aren’t any y chromosome carriers in my family. Even the pets are all female. My earliest memory is being dressed in a lace pinafore like little bo peep instead of the superhero I wanted to be for halloween. Not by my mother but my eldest cousin because she thought it would be cute and Mom was too busy meeting with another alpha to take us trick or treating. So humiliation is old hat to me.”

“That’s horrible!” Kira’s voice said from behind him as she and Laura came up. “It would be one thing if you’d wanted to be Bo Peep but taking your choice of costume away from you is horrible. Was she at least punished?”

Derek blinked down at the tiny kitsune, startled at her defense. “I...don’t really remember. I was only five at the time.” He looked at his sister for an answer.

“I don’t think she was actually.” Laura wrinkled her brow as she thought about it. “Mom was so busy and Dad was hiding out in the shed so I don’t think anything happened to Cynthia.” 

“Kira’s right, no one’s free will or choice should ever be taken away from them.” Stiles was completely serious for once. “That’s something much worse than humiliation.” 

“It was pretty harmless.” derek shook his head.

“No. No it wasn’t. Because taking even something as small as a costume choice away from someone when they’re a child can affect the way that child thinks of themselves as they grow up.” Kira shook her head.

“Kira’s majoring in child psychology,” Scott put in. “And she’s right. It was a small thing but I bet this Cynthia did other little petty things that she got away with that weren’t as ‘small’’ as making you be Bo Peep instead of Iron Man.”

“Robin actually.” Derek said sheepishly. “Dick Grayson’s Robin.” He didn’t say anything further about Cynthia though Scott was right.

“Dick Grayson’s Robin is the only one that counts really.” Stiles was still looking uncharacteristically somber. “So good choice by your five year old self.” He had a sudden urge to seek this Cynthia person out and give her a taste of her own medicine. “I would totally appreciate your Dick.” 

Both Scott and Kira facepalmed and groaned. “ _Stiles_.” while Derek gave a bark of startled laughter and reclaimed Beans when she started mewing for him.

“I might show you one day if I’m feeling generous.” He chuckled, thinking of how he’d finally gotten to be Robin when he was eight then Nightwing when he was fifteen.

“I will do my best to keep you generous and in a giving mood then.” Stiles winked at him and then clapped his hands together. “Right, back to the food. I am still thinking salmon on the grill.” 

“Steak bro! We’re wolves!” Scott protested.

“Actually when salmon runs are going on wolves gather in numbers greater than the bears. And since the bears mostly just go for the roe and brains the wolves get the rest and gorge on salmon meat.” Derek said as he made sure Beans got snuggled back down into his pocket comfortably. “Minimal effort for greatest rewards.”

“See, we should definitely have salmon.” Stiles didn’t stick his tongue out at Scott but it was close. “And fish is good for you, except for Allison, Ally will get steak.” Stiled found Derek’s knowledge extremely attractive, he found everything about Derek attractive but his brain just made him want to lick Derek from head to toe all the more.

Scott growled playfully at his best friend while his mate smirked at him.

Derek just found a place to settle and hesitantly struck up a conversation with Allison while Stiles and Scott manned the grill. He was glad he’d decided to drag Laura here. Not just because his sister might just get and keep her fox but because he liked the feel of the people Stiles held close and the mood they sparked in this little barbecue. He hoped he’d get to join them again in the future.


	7. How Does Your Garden Grow

Derek knocked on Stiles’ back door before opening it and stepping inside with Beans perched on his shoulder. Eight weeks had passed since finding her and he could hardly believe she was already weaned and strong enough to balance and stay on his shoulder while he walked.

Stiles was standing shirtless and in the middle of his living room, cleaning away a circle he had used to create some spells. “Beans, queen of my heart.” Stiles beamed at the kitten and reached for a wet towel to begin wiping away the symbols painted on his skin. “And Derek too, what brings you over? Not that you are not most welcome.” 

Derek stared at the bare skin as Stiles wiped away the paint, leaving being a damp trail that Derek wanted to run his tongue over. It took a minute and the feeling of eyes on him to snap him out of his stupor. He cleared his throat. “Sorry, got distracted wondering what the paint was for. I finished the inside remodel and I wanted to ask if you could help me design the landscaping. Your gardens are amazing and I just don’t really know much about landscaping design and if I call my company’s designer for suggestions I’ll have to pay her like it was an official job. Since she’s my little sister I’d rather not deal with the aggravation.”

“Very understandable, I would think you would like your home to be as much yours as possible, perhaps leaving your family out of the decisions.” Stiles felt ridiculously pleased that Derek had asked him though since he was far from an expert in landscaping. “And the paint is just a booster, it gives my magic a little extra oomph in spellmaking.” 

“I hope nothing’s wrong. I mean that the spellwork is for a happy thing. If that makes sense.” Derek came closer, drawn to Stiles like a magnet. “And yeah. Cora would take the chance to walk all over me and make it a show garden that just wouldn’t fit me.”

“No worries, nothing is wrong. Sometimes I do some spellwork just to keep fit if you know what I mean, wouldn’t do to become rusty. I never know when I’ll need the things I come up with.” Stiles smiled and reached for a t-shirt, pulling it over his head. “What kind of garden do you have in mind, like do you want flowers or herbs or vegetables? One with easy maintenance or a little more work?” 

“I can put in the work no problem. I like working in a garden actually. Mostly I want fruits, vegetables and herbs and maybe some simple rose bushes and bulb flowers out front.” Derek regretted that Stiles had covered up but he looked delicious in a soft tee too. “I like flowers with a nice smell to them and I like having something like vegetables or fruit at the end of a season. Plus it’s better to grow your own when you can.”

“Absolutely, I am right with you there dude.” Stiles nodded. “We can take a walk through my chaos outside and then yours, figure it out.” Stiles was happy just spending time with Derek and he loved every little thing he was growing so getting to talk about that was just an added bones.

“Your garden is riotous not chaotic. I like it.” Derek smiled. “And tiptoeing through your tulips sounds good.” He followed Stiles out into the mage’s garden. “Were there ever trees in your backyard?” Derek’s own had two trees the perfect space apart to hang a hammock, which was his plan once he had a garden plotted out. Stiles didn’t have any trees, though.

“Not when I moved in, the previous owner removed them and put in this truly horrid carp dam...it was one of the first things I got rid of. A bit of water in your garden is good but this was so ugly.” Stiles shuddered. “With all these plaster cherubs and seashells and crap.” 

Derek looked genuinely horrified. “God I’m glad you got rid of those. I will never understand the need for masses of statuary in a garden. Small water fountains or a bird bath is nice though.”

“Absolutely, as I said, a bit of water is just a good thing and something you should have somehow, even if it is just a rainwater barrel like I have. And I like some of those colored glass orbs people have but other than that I am very anti garden decorations, don’t get me started on my hatred for garden gnomes.” 

“Now you’re tempting me to ask.” Derek teased. 

“Go on but be prepared for at least a two hour rant, that is time you will never get back.” Stiles teased back. 

“I don’t mind. I like spending time listening to y-” Derek’s head whipped around when a truck squealed up to the curb and Erica tumbled out.

“Oh thank God you’re here.” Erica leaned on the fence, panting to catch her breath. “I was worried you’d be going into HQ this morning. Christ. Christ I need a drink.”

“Hey Catwoman.” Stiles had gotten to know Erica a little better and he liked her more now that she wasn’t pushing her tits in his face but right now he had the strong urge to teleport her to Australia. “What’s wrong?”

“Erica?” Derek moved over to her, reaching out to cup the back of her neck and help ground her in Pack. “What is it?”

“ _It_ is that fucking sadistic, magic using viper.” She gripped his wrist, seeing that he paled. “I’m sorry but I had to get here before she tracked you down. She won her appeal and is back in town. Talia’s raising hell about it but...”

Derek swayed on his feet, aware that Beans was mewing and butting her head against his cheek in distress at _his_ distress.

“Shit.” Stiles was scared to see how pale Derek got and how he looked ready to collapse. He had no idea what was going on but he could tell it was bad. “Come on, let’s head back inside, Erica can have her drink and you can sit down before you fall down.” 

Erica vaulted over the fence and curled her arm around Derek’s waist, helping to support him. She gestured to Stiles to come and take a post on Derek’s other side as they headed inside. Meanwhile she was keeping her senses honed for any hint of danger.

Stiles had an ulterior motive getting them inside his house as well. If there was someone after them, someone with magic, they would not get past the wards on his house. Not to toot his own horn but it was probably the safest place in Beacon Hills. His hands guiding Derek inside was gentle but firm.

Derek’s head was buzzing but with Erica on one side of him and Stiles on the other he could battle it back and breathe. He let them usher him inside and onto a kitchen chair where he let his knees go weak and sat down hard. Beans jumped off his shoulder onto the table and rubbed up against him, purring loudly in comfort. “I thought she was banned from the territory?”

“Which is why Talia’s raising hell. She was. Even winning her appeal she should still be banned but the local druid grove keeps babbling about mental stress and PTSD and forgiveness. I’d like to take their forgiveness and mental stress and shove it up their asses!” Erica hissed, her hand petting Derek’s hair.

“They could babble all they want but they don’t have the right to forgive or lift a ban without consulting _me_.” Suddenly the fumbly and clumsy Stiles was gone and the high mage was in his place. “I am not happy now and this isn’t even about me.” 

“You don’t even know who they’re forgiving,” Derek said, “or why she was banned in the first place.”

“He doesn’t need to.” Erica kissed the crown of Derek’s head. “Right Magic Man? All bans and their rescinding have to go through you these days. By not consulting you they’re pulling a power play, trying to undermine you. But that ain’t why you’re pissed.” And she was happy to see that, to know it. “They’ve let Jennifer Blake aka Julia Baccari back into the territory because she’s got power out the ass. They don’t give a damn about why she was banned to begin with.”

“Baccari…” Stiles wrinkled his face in disgust and his mouth set in an unhappy moue. “Power she might have but most of it is stolen. The druids want the nemeton back and they think she will be the ticket to get it. Idiot fools.” But no, that Stiles had been bypassed was not why he was pissed, Derek’s reaction was the whole reason.

Derek was focused on petting Beans and controlling the roiling sickness that was in his belly knowing Jennifer was back in the territory. 

“Talia’s about ready to rip druid heads off and I’m pretty sure Laura’s half a step behind her.” Erica said, still touching Derek, still comforting him in the way fo Pack. “Der do you-”

He breathed in slowly and closed his eyes, leaning down to let Beans rub against his chin. “She was banned and arrested for using magical coercion and false bonding. Other than my mother there’s only one werewolf in the territory who knows the location of the nemeton and she wanted it. So she...Erica.”

“I gotcha Big Daddy,” Erica promised, meeting Stiles’ eyes as she wrapped her arms around Derek’s shoulders. “When Derek was fifteen he and his girlfriend were in an accident out in the woods and wound up at the nemeton somehow. Talia thinks the nemeton used what power it had left to try and draw them there thinking that Paige’s death would give enough juice to come back. Didn’t work out that way. Talia found them and managed to get Paige to help fast enough that she survived. But Derek knew where the nemeton was now and somehow Baccari found out a while back.

“She disguised herself as a sweet kind of dorky teacher, set up a damsel in distress scenario, and managed to drug Derek with a potion that let her hook a spell into him, taking away his free will for months.”

“I slapped my Mom,” Derek’s whisper was ashamed and still horrified. “And threw Cora into a tree so hard her back broke.”

“It wasn’t you,” Erica’s voice was fierce. “Not that, not any of what she made you do.” She kept looking at Stiles. “She spelled him into sex and into giving her a bonding bite. It’s not valid, not real because it wasn’t given in free will but for as long as she had him bespelled it connected them as if it was.”

“How could she get to have an appeal hearing in the first place?” Stiles was absolutely livid but he didn’t think raging about it would help Derek at all right now. “She should have had her powers stripped permanently and locked up for good.” Stiles would have killed her, slowly and painfully but he would have killed her. “No matter what powers she has, she won’t get past these wards Derek.” Stiles gave him an assuring look. “And though I wish I could, I can’t erase what she put you through before, but I promise you, I promise that she will not be able to get any hooks into you again.” 

“I know. I trust you. I just...” Derek couldn’t say it. He couldn’t put into words the way knowing she was back in the territory just shoved the violation of having his choice and control of his body taken away right back into his face.

Erica rubbed her cheek on Derek’s shoulder. “You’re not staying alone even after Batman gets rid of her. Me and the boys are going to pile in on you if you don’t want to go to the pack home. You’re not facing the nightmares alone.”

“You’re staying here until I deal with her.” Stiles looked at both Erica and Derek. “No house is warded like this one, invite your whole pack, there is room but please stay here until I am sure Baccari won’t cause anymore trouble.” 

“We’re not going anywhere until that roach cunt is gone.” Erica swore.

Derek nodded because he felt safe in this house. “We’ll stay here. Stiles,” he reached out and brushed the tips of his fingers over the back of Stiles’ hand, “thank you.”

“Stopping her is my job, pulverizing like I am going to do? That will be my pleasure.” Stiles turned his hand around so he could squeeze Derek’s fingers for a moment. “Thank you for staying here, treat my house like your home. I am going bitch hunting.” Stiles hated derogatory feminine slurs but Baccari was a bitch in the truest human sense of the word. 

“Don’t call her that. That’s insulting wolves everywhere,” Derek said softly, squeezing back. “Watch your six. Just in case she’s got a plan up her sleeve.” He let Stiles’ hand go, feeling a little bereft. “Good hunting.”

“Thank you.” Stiles was pretty sure she did have a plan up her sleeve, why bother returning otherwise. It wouldn’t matter though because Stiles would get her either way. “I won’t be too long.” 

Erica wiggled her fingers in a wave then set about comforting Derek.


End file.
